I have a confession. I have commitment issues. And I’m a procrastinator. And I worry…a lot. And…none of that is going to matter (as much) anymore. I’m making a commitment to myself to write more, among other things. And to give myself a little help in making this a habit and not a sporadic event, I joined a 31 day writing challenge. TECHNICALLY, I’ve already posted for 1/1/14, but I still wanted to do this post.

Today’s challenge/prompt was to do something to make it known that I am embarking upon this journey. There’s a problem, though. I’m not sure I want to do that. In addition to my issues with commitment, procrastination, and worrying, I also have a problem with caring about others’ perceptions of me. Luckily (I think), I attended an amazing webinar today in which Deepak Chopra calmly stated, “What others think of me is none of my business.” With that in mind, I should be able to post a link to this blog that I really hope and pray I stick with this time, right? Nah. Because, as I’ve discovered time and time again, people are interesting/funny/weird in regards to their reactions to things. The things that they latch onto in either a positive or negative manner are sometimes very bizarre. And I would really prefer not to censor myself on MY blog simply because someone’s auntie/cousin/bestie/brother/sister/mother/father/child finds fault with something I’ve written.

What could they find fault with? Well, I have a lot of drafts about myself and my life…and being that I don’t live in a bubble, other people are referenced. In addition to this concern, I’m actually a pretty private person. As an introvert, I spend a significant amount of time reflecting on things ALONE. Not exactly sure how I originally planned to both write about myself and my thoughts without actually sharing parts of myself that I usually don’t…So yeah. These are my two issues.

When I first saw that prompt, I was extremely nervous about sharing something I’m already so unsure of with others. But after thinking and worrying about it for a bit (my go-to method for dealing with problems), I’ve realized that I have nothing to worry about for three major reasons.

1. I’m becoming a pretty straightforward person. I’m not writing anything that I wouldn’t say or haven’t already said to anyone referenced in any post. What I had forgotten in my near-panic is that since I finished undergrad, I have been making a point to be heard. To say what I need to say to people before I combust. And I’ve been successful in that endeavor so far.
2. Someone will always have something to say. And that’s not only okay, but it’s a good thing. I don’t want to write SOLELY to release some of the random introspection and wild ideas; I also want people to feel something. I would hope that those feelings are not negative in nature, but if they are, that’s life. Which leads me to…
3. Good art imitates life. I have a student who constantly questions the purpose of our reading. In this student’s defense, I’ve asked some of the same questions myself. My go-to answer is always “Art imitates life.” There are books about love, loss, bravery, bewilderment, desertion and devotion. Because those things are real. Someone, somewhere, at any given moment is experiencing these emotions or finding themselves wading through these events. And we can never develop empathy (which is key to being a pretty decent human, imo) without a glimpse into the lives of others.

So. Yeah. I’m doing this. Because (insert cliché: i.e. “at the end of the day”) discomfort is quite often necessary for growth and success (another nugget of wisdom from my webinar!).

This is going to be interesting lol. Stop by daily to read my posts this month or harass me via FB if I’m slacking.